Ah, it’s the best man! Firstly, congratulations on the role of a lifetime! But as the groom’s trusty sidekick, you’ve got a few responsibilities. The biggest that comes with the territory is writing a best man’s speech.
Terrified? Wordless? Ready to flee? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
Here are a few tips on writing a best man’s speech, what to include and how to deliver it.
Everyone has the same first step when writing a best man’s speech; they turn to trusty Google for “What to include in a best man’s speech”, and while this is a good and practical first step to help you get a foundation and not miss out anything important, you’ll need a little extra umph to make it extra special and truly a one of a kind message to the amazing couple and all their guests.
The secret to writing an amazing best man’s speech is to make it personal. Practice the art of storytelling and walk the wedding guests through your relationship with the groom and couple. Tell stories about how you became so close, where you’ve been in life, as well as mentioning funny or memorable things you’ve been through.
You'll also need to consider your audience. You know the couple and their families well, so you should be able to make an educated guess on how to get the perfect ratio between funny and loving. Think about what you’d want to hear if you were an audience member. You don’t want to rely solely on humour – remember it’s not just a roast! You'll want to make everyone laugh, but you also want to say some kind words about the couple, so both they and the wedding guests know how much you care and appreciate them.
A key aim to have when writing your speech is to remember that after you’ve delivered it, you want the audience members to feel like they know you, and the couple, a little more.
A basic layout of what your speech should include:
A strong opening – Say something captivating, funny or heartfelt to make an opening impact and get everyone listening.
Introductions – Tell everyone who you are and your relationship to the groom and couple.
Share some stories – Remember this is where you’ll stand out, so make it personal and find that balance between funny and loving sentiment.
Acknowledge the Bride – Share some kind words about the bride, and maybe express the groom’s luck to have her.
Express Gratitude – Take some time to thank the families for their support and hospitality, and anyone specifically who made significant contributions or efforts in making the day possible, or generally being supportive to the couple.
Raise a Toast – End the speech by encouraging guests to raise a glass with a heartfelt and loving toast to the happy couple, their happiness and future together.
Don't drag it out – Aim for around five minutes. You don’t want a super short speech that doesn’t have an impact, but you also don’t want to waffle on for too long.
Using this outline, you’ll be able to break the speech down into smaller chunks to make it more manageable and seem like a less daunting task, then all you have to do is put all the pieces together!
Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. Let other people hear your speech, it’s not going to hurt to get some feedback, it’s amazing how much we overlook when we’re not looking, so a fresh set of ears is always useful.
Once you’ve got the speech finalised, you’ll need to practice delivering it. Rehearse it out loud as much as you can to get comfortable with the flow, ensuring it fits together nicely and the timings are right. This will also help you memorise your speech, so you’re not stood reading word-by-word from a piece of paper or from your phone on the big day.
Once you’ve done all the hard work, you’ll have no doubt crafted an incredible, loving and funny speech that hit’s just right. All there is to do now is to relax on the day. Take a deep breath, stand up straight and speak clearly and confidently. Keep good eye contact with the couple and the wedding guests throughout, as well as allowing pauses for laughter and emotional responses, and most importantly – don’t rush it!
Enjoy giving an amazing speech, you’re going to be incredible!
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